pimping news is a great hobby

Lesson 1: A Warning

Caution: Contents may cause any or all of the following side effects which you’ll soon learn to love:

Flailing

Arrhythmia

Tachycardia

Dyspnea

Ecstasy

Addiction

Bankruptcy

Proceed at your own risk.

Lesson 2: Johnny’s Entertainment

Johnny’s Entertainment, also known as Johnny’s Jimusho or simply JE, is a talent agency started by Johnny (yes, that really is his name) Kitagawa that monopolizes Japan’s male entertainment industry. It recruits young boys via applications and auditions in hopes that they will someday become stars, or “idols”. These boys practice with the Jimusho for years, which teaches them the fine arts of song and ero dance and fan service. After paying their dues as a junior (dancing back-up for various groups, getting good enough to dance near the center, getting old and famous enough to host The Shounen Club and perform frequently on it (literally it means The Little Boys Club, which hosts Johnny’s more famous groups for special performances and gives the little guys a chance to sing and perform), and building up a considerable fanbase) and forming junior groups, Johnny may allow them to formally debut, often with a different group than they previously performed with. These groups go on to dominate the male Japanese entertainment industry, both in singing and in acting, and become megastars.

Current junior groups include ABC, J.J. Express, Kis-My-Ft2, and Ya-Ya-Yah, among others.

Lesson 3: NewS

NewS consists of 9 members (yes, I know the picture has 6, but trust me here) handpicked by Johnny. Moriuchi Takahiro, Yamashita Tomohisa, Koyama Keiichiro, Nishikido Ryo, Masuda Takahisa, Uchi Hiroki, Kato Shigeaki, Tegoshi Yuya, and Kusano Hironori officially deubted as NewS in September 2003. They are known for having six singles reach the number one spot on the Oricon charts, in a row. They released their first single, NewS Nippon, on November 11, 2003, which was exclusively sold at 7-11 (get it? 07-11-03, 7-11…clever, right?) to promote the women’s volleyball competition. Their official debut single, entitled Kibou ~Yell~, was released on May 12, 2004, at number one on the Oricon charts. Their next singles, Akaku Moyuru Taiyou, Cherish, TEPPEN, and Sayaendou/Hadashi no Cinderella Boy were released over May 2004-May 2006. In 2006, the band was put in hiatus, for reasons to be explained later, and came back as a six-member group after midnight during Johnny’s Countdown 2006-2007. Their newest single, Hoshi wo Mezashite, will drop on March 21, 2007.

Lesson 3.1: 森内貴寛

Name: Moriuchi Takahiro (More-ee-oo-chee Ta-ka-hee-row)
Birthday: 4.17.1988
Blood Type: A
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Although he debuted with NewS, Moriuchi decided to leave in December 2003 to focus on his education (although other rumors abound!). He is currently a singer for the JROCK group ONE OK ROCK.
Trivia: He is the son of a famous enka (traditional Japanese singing)
Other than that, I know nothing of Moriuchi…since he isn’t a part of NewS anymore. >.<

Lesson 3.2: 山下智久

Name: Yamashita Tomohisa (Yah-mah-shtah Toe-moe-hee-sah)

Birthday: 4.9.1985

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Blood Type: A

Dramas: Ikebukuro West Gate Park (2000), Long Love Letter (2002), Lunch no Jyou (2002), Stand Up!!
(2003), Sore wa, Totsuzen, Arashi no You ni (2004), Dragon Zakura (2005), Nobuta wo Produce
(2005), Kurosagi (2006), Byakkotai (2007), Proposal Daisakusen (2007)

Remember when you were in middle school and there was that gorgeous guy who everybody had a crush on? Meet Yamapi.

When Yamapi appears on TV, he seems like the strong, silent type, like Kurosagi with the dark desire for revenge. However, his friends and bandmates swear that he is just like Akira, the crazy character he played in Nobuta wo Produce. Which is right? You decide!

Yamashita started out as a junior in JE and was expected to debut with the junior group 4TOPS, which luckily included some of his best friends. However, he debuted with NewS, which at the time was billed as a temporary group. He didn’t particularly enjoy being in NewS and made little effort to become friends with the other members. As time went on, he came to enjoy NewS and became close friends with the other members and was happy to return from hiatus with them.

As you can see, Yamashita’s resume is pretty damn impressive. He’s been in a million dramas not listed here, grouped up with Kamenashi Kazuya to promote Nobuta wo Produce as Shuuji to Akira and released the single Seishun Amigo, which is Japan’s second best-selling single of ALL TIME (re: the 21^st century). After NewS was put on hiatus, he went solo with the single Daite Senorita, which was the fourth best-selling single of 2006, and reveals his superpower to make girls fall in lust love with him.

He is the leader of NewS (and thus is first in my pimp!post), which is quite a bit of responsibility but he handles it well!

His nickname is YamaP(i), which is a combination of Yamashita and pink.

He is stubborn, doesn’t like losing, is absent-mindedcarefree, and a night owl. He’s also aDORKable.

Trivia:

• He changed his name from Aoki Tomohisa to Yamashita Tomohisa
• His good friend Akanishi Jin named his dog Pin
• If he retires from show business, he wants to live in Hawaii.
• Ryo <3s his peach! Haha
• He’s SEXy
• He daily updates his diary

Lesson 3.3: 小山慶一郎

Name: Koyama Keiichiro (Koh-yah-mah Kay-ee-chee-row)

Birthday: 5.1.1984

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Blood Type: O

Dramas: Hana Yome wa Yakudoshi (2006), guest appearance in Kurosagi (2006), Ns’ Aoi (2006)

You know how they say nice guys never win? Well, unless you consider making a ton of money, appearing in TV shows as an actor and a frequent host, singing in a successful band, and being a household name the mark of losing, then Koyama is living disproof of that saying. Actually, Koyama is a huge winner! He joined JE at the age of 17, while most join in their elementary or early middle school years. Koyama is pretty much the sweetest guy in JE, and is the mother figure of NewS. If Yamapi is the absent-minded one leaving doors open and the lids off of drinks, Koyama is the one running around cleaning up behind him.

Koyama is the MC of the group and talks a lot, especially in NewS Abake (the BEST THING EVER), and in his awesome and shiny jweb, which is entitled Member Love.

As if he wasn’t perfect enough already, he works in his family’s ramen shop. Do you love him or do you love him?

Trivia:

• He is often teased for his single lids
• He and Shige are practically married
• He is talented at playing baseball
• He is about to graduate from Meiji University, the same school that Yamapi attends
• He hates tomato

Lesson 3.4: 錦戸亮

Name: Nishikido Ryo (Knee-she-key-doe Ryo)

Birthday: 11.3.1984

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Blood Type: O

Dramas: Ganbatte Ikimasshoi (2005), 1 Rittoru no Namida (2005), Attention Please (2006), Dive to Future
(2006), Kemarishi (2006)

Nishikido Ryo is a born and bred Osakajin, and is proud of it! He originally debuted as a member of NewS, but also debuted with Kanjani8 in 2004. He has maintained membership in both groups, despite what I’m sure is a hectic schedule.

Now, what we love about him the most: Ryo is a smartass jerk. He’s the kind of guy who will tell you just what he thinks of your outfit, your hairstyle, your face (if you’re Kamenashi Kazuya), and your personality TO YOUR FACE. He has the ego the size of a large country (he is the self-titled Sexy Osaka Man), which he makes no effort to hide. He is also the kind of guy you hope will push you up against a wall and make out with you, like a hotter, sexier version of Jesse from Gilmore Girls.

Despite all of this, I some contend that he’s a softie on the inside. In fact, his groupmate Massu labeled him the most romantic member of NewS (in an article I found somewhere on news_jpop but lost track of). Ryo’s role as Asou-kun in 1 Rittoru No Namida (which is aptly named, as YOU will cry one litre of tears) is just more proof, both of his inner softie and the fact that we all want him.

Trivia:

• Chibi Ryo is love
• He writes word associations in his diary
• He is close with Uchi Hiroki
• He gives snarky interviews

Lesson 3.5: 増田貴久

Name: Masuda Takahisa (Mah-sue-dah Tah-kah-he-saw)

Birthday: 7.4.1986

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: O

Dramas: Gachi Baka (2006)

If you get the feeling that Massu, as he is known, is amazingly cute, you’re right. Out of any of the guys of NewS, I would want Massu to be my brother. He has a super cute smile that is always turned on to a dazzling million watts and he has a meccha positive persona, despite his apparent tendency to pay more attention to his food than to his friends.

After NewS was suspended (you’re still wondering why, aren’t you? I’ll get to that), he and Tegoshi Yuya formed a duo called TegoMass and released the song Miso Soup, in an English and a Japanese version, in Japan and in…Sweden?? Why Sweden, you wonder? Because some of the hit songs in Japan are written by Swedes, including Hoshi wo Mezashite! Apparently they racked up quite a fanbase there.

Trivia:

• He is muscular, and that is hot
• He is afraid of dogs

Lesson 3.6: 内博貴

Name: Uchi Hiroki (Oo-chi He-row-key)

Birthday: 9.10.1986

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Blood Type: AB

Drama: Boku no Ikiru Michi (2003), Ganbatte Ikimasshoi (2005)

Like Nishikido Ryo, Uchi debuted with NewS and went on to debut with Kanjani8 in 2004. And fans love him. A lot. I mean it. Why, you ask? We relate to him the best, since he is such A GIRL! He screams at fish, and he makes a prettier girl than you do. He is best friends with Nishikido Ryo, and should probably just go out with Ryo, being such a girl and all. He also has a kind of Oedipus complex attachment to his mother, and even says that’s she’s his type.

You’ve been wondering about the suspension thing, right? Well here’s one half of the explanation: Uchi Hiroki was caught drinking underage, and since JE boys are role models to the impressionable youth of Japan, he was suspended indefinitely from all of his professional activities, and has yet to return.

Uchi: We love you, we miss you, we hope you come back soon.

Trivia:

• He and Ryo are awesome.

Lesson 3.7: 加藤成亮

Name: Kato Shigeaki (Kah-toe She-gay-ah-key)

Birthday: 7.11.1987

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: A

Dramas: Kakure Karakuri (2006)

Shige is recognized as the smartest guy in NewS. He’s probably smarter than you, too, unless you’re also studying law at Aoyama University. Shige has the coveted power of being able to convert innocent bystanders into fans simply by the power of his jweb. It is bright and shiny and funny and random, and it is all written under the name Wagahai, which is a fictional cat. No really, you read that right. He writes his diary as an imaginary cat.

He and Koyama often sing duets in NewS songs, goof around onstage and backstage, and generally show a lot of Member Love which we don’t mind at all XD.

Trivia:

• The whole Wagahai thing is a spoof of a famous manga called Wagahai wa Neko de aru, which basically means I am a Cat. Hence the imaginary cat.

Lesson 3.8: 手越祐也

Name: Tegoshi Yuya (Tay-go-she You-yah)

Birthday: 11.9.1987

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Blood Type: B

Dramas: Gachi Baka (2006), My Boss My Hero (2006)

Tegoshi is like whoa. Why? Because he was only in JE for 10 months before he became part of NewS. Although it lifted him from relative obscurity, we all soon came to know why—Tegoshi has an amazing voice and frequently sings the harmony part for NewS’ songs.

When NewS returned from their hiatus, his fans were presented with an interesting development: somehow, Tegoshi became SEXY after lessons from Yamapi. He was the first member to star in a movie, dubbing the voice of a penguin in Happy Feet, and was in My Boss My Hero. Now, I have been good about not plugging my favorite dramas NobutawoProduceKurosagiTattaHitotsunoKoi1RittorunoNamidaHanaYoriDangoDeathNotemovies, but you HAVE to watch My Boss My Hero. It’s hysterical. You will love it. And you will love Tegoshi.

Tegoshi was part of TegoMass with Massu, who, just so I can put in something new here, are going to be singing the theme song for the anime Lovely Complex.

Trivia:

• He thinks himself the worst dancer in NewS
• He goes to Waseda University
• He’s kind of a diva

Lesson 3.9: 草野博紀

Name: Kusano Hironori (Koo-saw-no He-row-no-ree)

Birthday: 2.15.1988

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Blood Type: B

Drama: Gekidan Engimoto (2005)

Kusano is known as the most energetic member of NewS, which fits as he is the youngest. He is fond of pulling pranks on the other members, which is most definitely appreciated as a form of fanservice. He is also adorable in his fangirling of KAT-TUN’S Kamenashi Kazuya.

Were you wondering what the other half of the NewS scandal was? After Uchi was suspended for drinking, Kusano was photographed by the paparazzi drinking in a karaoke booth. In his defense, it was not a clear shot and he could have been holding any can. However, it was a karaoke booth, and he was with a couple of girls…regardless, he withdrew himself from activities and was demoted to a trainee along with Uchi. Hopefully they will both return to us soon!

Trivia:

• He is currently studying at Hosei University

Lesson 4: 
And now....PICSPAM

Scans from boys_paper, information from the depths of my brain along with wiki.theppn.org, wiki.d-addicts.com, and news_jpop.